You push harder than you ever have in your entire life, so of course it makes sense that you'd shit yourself in the process. But it's ok, because it happens to most women who give birth vaginally, and no one should be shaming women for it.
I’m not sure if this is a vent or if I’m looking for advice but I had a weird experience yesterday.
There’s a guy I’m seeing, he calls me all the time (almost every day), and we’ve been fooling around the last few weeks. Were both in our twenties and live with strict parents. I don’t drive (lame, I know), and he lives 40 minutes away, so it’s hard to meet up.
He wants to see me but his mum “wouldn’t let him drive that far” - I thought it was bs and he was just too lazy to drive over. I was wrong. We decide to meet halfway, have some food, fool around in his car. It’s nice, we’re both touch starved and lonely and it’s nice to just cuddle and touch. I held and comforted him. He has a submissive streak, wants me to grab his neck, gets all whiny, it’s cute.
We go somewhere more private, fool around. I’m the instigator, as usual. I want to have sex but he’s smiling, telling me to be patient. It’s about to get TMI. He wants it rough - in the heat of the moment, wants me to choke him, hit him, use him, takes my hand and places it on his neck so I’m squeezing it hard enough. He calls me mommy (oh god I’m embarrassed writing this but oh well 😭) and asks if he can call me that - I say yeah, and he leans into it. I’m naturally kinda dominant so I’m having fun.
Then, his mom calls. Da-da-daaaa!
He takes it. I get off him, sit next to him. We’re both naked. She’s not on speakerphone, but I could hear most of it. It was awkward sitting through it.
This is a 22 year old grown man, in school full time, working 2 jobs, volunteering. Cooks for his parents, doesn’t get in trouble, clean cut.
“I can see your location; why’re you at (spot we’re in)??? You said you’d be home for 9 (he said 10:30, allegedly), I’m scared for you, what’re you doing, are you getting mixed up in something? I know there’s something you’re not telling us”
He makes an excuse that he’s driving a friend home, she grills him, he gets sarcastic and defensive. “Yeah mom I’m slinging crack and having sex with prostitutes”
Ouch. I look over at him, still naked and vulnerable, wondering if he’s just being sarcastic or if he subconsciously sees me as a prostitute.
“I know there’s something going on; you’re always on the phone with a girl, you’re driving all around, you’re manscaping - yeah I noticed that too!”
HIS MOM NOTICED HIM “MANSCAPING” 😭
He agrees to be home for 10:30. The call ends angrily, tense. The mood is gone. I get semi dressed.
I ask him about wtf just happened and he vents a bit. Then,
“Ok I wanna fuck now”
😅 what? You just got off that terrible phone call and that’s your reaction? I’m not in the mood anymore. He lifts me on his lap and I comfort him. Hug and reassure him. He’s not like himself anymore. I say hey maybe let’s just talk but he’s urgent now. “Please fuck me, please?” I’m not horny anymore, I just feel bad for him.
I felt creeped out about the “mommy” thing after that call, it feels very Freudian. He’s still hard, he didn’t lose his erection during the call, at all. I don’t know if it’s a spite fuck or stress or urgency but it’s weird. I hug him and he starts humping me. I really wanted to have sex before but was conflicted now. After he touched me a bit I said ok. Looking back on it, it wasn’t right. I think he needed comfort. “Don’t look at me like that, like you’re sad” we have sex. It’s rushed and I wasn’t horny anymore. As soon as he’s done, we get dressed, and he drops me off at a cafe. No aftercare, just rushing home to his mom. He’s freaked out. I felt gross and cheap and used, waiting in the cafe. Numb. I waited until my dad picked me up. I feel weird about it now, I don’t know what to do or how to process this. Just a very bizarre experience.